


The Anatomy of Us

by maikurosaki



Category: The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 23:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11519754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maikurosaki/pseuds/maikurosaki
Summary: Faraday's luck runs out on a Wednesday evening when he comes across Vasquez, his ex-boyfriend, in a crowded bar. It only goes downhill from there. But in between recalling their common history and meeting again by chance, Faraday realizes that maybe there is a chance of getting back together with Vasquez. It sure as hell looks like fate has some plans with them.





	The Anatomy of Us

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first foray in this fandom. I had this idea for a while now and I just needed to get it out of the system.  
> **  
> If you hover the mouse over the Spanish words, you'll get the English translation, but you can find the words translated in the end notes as well.

Faraday's luck runs out on a Wednesday evening.

The waitress offers the fifth cup of coffee for the day, which he accepts gladly. He downs half of it before she even moves away from their table. He is exhausted, in desperate need of a shower and a bed, not necessarily in this particular order. He's been dealing with a tough case for the past several months with no breakthrough in sight. He's tired of looking at the same files, same pictures and same goddamn testimonies with no new leads, no new clues, not even a goddamn good suspect. He's tired of telling Sam Chisolm, his captain, that there's no progress, while he's dodging the family's calls, because if he listens to Mrs. Sanders crying for her baby boy one more time, Faraday is going to do something stupid like opening a whiskey bottle and drowning into it. A double espresso is a better idea than nothing because he needs a goddamn kick. Five cups of coffee apparently aren't enough.

He takes a sip this time and sighs heavily. The files are spread in front of him. He pinches his nose, then decides that's not enough and presses the heels of his palms on his eyes, trying to relieve a bit of pressure. He can feel his partner next to him, her warmth and calm not enough to dispel the dark thoughts that he's currently entertaining. He takes another sip of his coffee and almost chokes on it, silently cursing under his breath. Emma huffs next to him and he cuts her a side-glance.

That's the exact moment when his luck runs out.

The world stops.

Faraday hates fucking clichés but this is how it feels like. The world around him ceases to exist as his entire focus shifts on the man, who's currently laughing at something one of his friends said. It's almost embarrassing how his entire body reacts to the mere sight of that man. His shoulders pinched tight, a deep coil of want and misery in his belly, mouth dry and mind blank. It's ridiculous and embarrassing to see that after so long after this man broke his fucking heart, he still holds so much power over Faraday.

Two years, three months and four days.

Not that he's been counting. Because Faraday doesn't do the counting, doesn't do emotional attachment anymore. He does shame and guilt and broken dreams, that's for sure.

This is unfair. Seriously, this is so fucking unfair.

He was over him. He was finally over him (a treacherous voice whispers promptly that he had never forgotten about those kind hands, the long legs, the sweet whispers in the night, the warm dreams, and the gentle caresses that broke nightmares away and moved worlds apart) so fuck fate and the high horse she rode on as she brought them both to Andy's bar. She can go fuck herself. It's a crowded bar, goddamn it, and they're sitting on opposite sides of the room. He could have left tonight none the wiser, but apparently, fate had other plans.

Faraday doesn't like to confront his past on a good day, and today? It's not a good day.

In vengeance, he gulps the rest of his cup and tries to pry his eyes away from Vasquez's form, the operative word being _try_. Because Vasquez? Well, he looks better than ever in that white Henley that contrasts so clearly with his natural darker skin tone. His hair is a little longer than the last time they saw each other (not that Faraday thinks about it), but otherwise, he's still the same: same beard, same goofy smile, same gestures. Faraday curses again, this time though, seemingly loud enough to be heard by Emma, who glances at him curiously.

“What's up?” she asks, though she isn't particularly interested in Faraday's moods or history. For the first year of their partnership, they both couldn't be bothered by the other's personal details, except names and phone numbers for emergencies. But by the second year, after a particularly nasty case, they both spilled a few personal details, not many, but enough not to feel like they are just two strangers with the same purpose in their mind. Because from the very beginning, Emma Cullen had been tough with no patience for Faraday's bullshit and her only redeeming quality had been her husband Matthew Cullen, who was such a laid back guy that Faraday was still puzzling over this apparent match made in heaven. By now though, Joshua Faraday knew better.

“My ex is here,” Faraday hisses but avoids her eyes and looks longingly at the bar. He pretty much gave up alcohol when Vasquez dumped him but he sure as hell would like a shot of whiskey right now, maybe something even stronger.

“Vasquez?” Emma asks but Faraday just nods in his ex-boyfriend’s direction. “Which one?”

“The one in the white Henley,” Faraday says and shudders but he gets another look. God-fucking-damn it!

“Jesus Christ, Faraday!” Emma hisses in return and Faraday glances at her. There is utter disbelief on her face and seems ready to lunge across the table and maybe punch him. But she apparently settles on hitting his shin. Hard. “If I wasn't married to Matthew, I would climb him like a tree!” Emma ignores his indignant squawk and frowns at him, “I'm married, not dead. Besides, no one can compare with Matthew.” Yeah, Faraday very much doubts this because he knows how Vasquez is and what he has done for him. “Don't just stand here! Go and say hi to him!”

“I'd rather do the entire precinct's reports for a month, thanks,” he grumps but doesn't pry his eyes away from Vasquez.

“Don't be such a baby, Faraday,” Emma says. “In fact, I'd recommend it because at least you don't give him the chance of ignoring you.”

“Wow, you're an absolute miracle for my morale!” He turns his attention to her in order to roll his eyes. “Look, he didn't see me, I'll pretend I didn't see him too, and we'll all move along with our lives. We don't need to make a fuss out of it.”

“Faraday,” Emma grounds him with _the_ look, the one that tells him she can see past his bullshit and she's most definitely not impressed. “The first thing you told me about yourself was that you've been in a relationship with Manuel Vasquez for ten years and that he broke your heart. We both know which was the truth in this statement.”

“He _did_ break my heart, goddamn it,” he seethes almost instantly because anyone who doesn't believe that can fuck off for all he cares. So what if he broke Manuel's heart first? His own was broken too in the process. Doesn't that count for anything? ( _Not if you've been a prick for the last year of your relationship, it doesn't_ – he fucking hates his conscience.) But Emma, brave and righteous Emma, just looks at him all-knowing, all-encompassing.

“You're going to regret it and you know it,” she replies, at last, keeping her tone level. “You're going to wake up tomorrow morning and you're going to try and punch yourself for missing out. We're talking about ten years of your life. I think you should say hello. But hey, at least admit that you're a coward if you're not going to.”

If looks could kill, Faraday is certain that Emma would have been dead by now. How can Faraday best explain to her the strange feeling when you see someone you loved so dearly turn out in the same bar and be a stranger? Ten years he loved that body, worshiped it and caressed it. For ten years he listened to Manuel grumble, whine, laugh and cry. For ten years they argued and made love, shouted at each other and whispered secrets in the dark. They went on holidays together, drank at weddings, traveled together and learned new things about each other. They created a home for themselves, offered each other safety and promises and love. They knew each other intimately, inside and out. Jesus Christ, where did that wonderful love go?

Now, there he is – apparently the same, but so different, separated by an ocean of new memories, new pet peeves, new wounds and new pains. Manuel Vasquez is the same and different at the same time. And the worst thing about the whole situation is that Manuel Vasquez is laughing with strangers and is no longer in love with Joshua Faraday.

“I'd rather be a coward on this occasion,” he says at last and he gazes in Manuel's direction one last time as if to say goodbye, then freezes all over again.

Vasquez is looking at him, his brows furrowed as always, his beer halfway to his mouth. Faraday doesn't know what to do but he's hypnotized. He won't admit it until the day he dies, but whether it is anatomically accurate or not, his heart stutters in his chest. It expands and constricts and through his veins rush all those feelings that once left him breathless and in awe at the world.

Then Vasquez smiles.

~o~

 _It's not much_ , Faraday thinks, even as his own giddiness threatens to bubble out and he might perform the Scooby Doo dance – that only Manu is allowed to see. A one-bedroom flat that they had to repaint and scrub over and over again because apparently, Manu is a stickler for cleanness and the smell of bleach – like who knew? Then papa Juan Manuel repaired some bits and pieces and replaced the carpet in their bedroom. Mama Yolanda bought them new curtains for their bedroom and Javier, Manu's older brother, donated his used coffee table and a brand new coffee maker because everyone was aware of Manu's addiction to the godly brew and they wanted to avoid talking with him when deprived of the aforementioned brew. They have three locks on the door, a freezer that sounds like an airplane about to take off and the smallest TV on this side of Atlantic.

But it is _theirs_. It's their _home_.

Something warm and happy soars inside of Joshua as he stands on the threshold waiting for his other half. He could definitely perform a Scooby Doo dance right now, regardless of who might see him. Six years. Six fucking years together and they finally get the chance of moving on their own without annoying or psychotic roommates, in a flat all to themselves to christen in any way they see fit. Faraday grins mischievously just thinking about it.

This is going to be _so great_.

“Why the hell are you grinning like a lunatic, querido?” The accent is thicker than the usual, a sign that Manuel is most likely exhausted. But this observation doesn't stop Faraday from turning on his heels and grinning even wider, to the point that it kind of hurts. Manuel is sweaty and flushed – they live on the third floor now and the elevator doesn't work, not a very good sign – but he still is the best thing that Joshua Faraday has seen in his entire life.

Josh shoves his hands in his jeans pockets and rocks on the balls of his feet.

“This is our new home,” he points out the obvious and Manu rolls his eyes as he climbs the final steps, still holding the paper bag that contains their lunch, the delicious smell making his stomach grumble. But Manu's eyes crinkle happily and betray his affection. His dark hair is curled around his ears and the neck, his blue t-shirt is drenched in sweat and has more than one tear, and his blue jeans are stained with the coffee that he spilled on him this morning. However, he is still the one person that makes Joshua the happiest and Joshua is grateful for that. He is grateful for this man that stood by him when his mom died, when he wasn't sure that he was going to get his bachelor degree, when he had so many doubts about their relationship because Manuel Alejandro Vasquez is pretty much perfect and Joshua Faraday is most definitely not.

“Yes, it is,” Manu says softly then presses a gentle kiss on Joshua's right cheek and he is about to enter their new home when Faraday stops him by grabbing him by the forearm, squeezing slightly harder than he should. “What is it, cariño?”

“I want to try something,” Joshua mutters in reply then takes the bag and carefully sets it inside the flat before turning to Manuel, who, by now, kind of gets the gist of it. He rolls his eyes again but a sweet flush spreads on his cheeks, one that not even his stubble can hide it. “Don't even try and pretend that you don't like the idea of it, sweetheart,” Joshua grumbles and in one smooth move he picks up Manuel in his arms as his boyfriend laughs and laughs and laughs.

It's not an easy feat because while Manuel is leaner than him, he does more than make up for it with his height. But Joshua is still the widest and strongest of the two of them – he doesn't want to brag, it's a simple and truthful fact. Joshua is aware that he is in optimal physical condition and that he could easily hurt Manuel, a fact that makes him pay so much more attention to the way they physically interact.

Manuel hugs Joshua's shoulders and kisses his neck, hiding his happiness in the crook of his neck.

“It's a stupid tradition,” he grouses, but the small kisses that he presses into Faraday's neck are anything but stupid and lay as small buried treasures in his skin. Joshua could burst with the amount of happiness gathered in between his ribs, spreading exponentially throughout his entire body with each moment spent with this man in his arms.

“It may be stupid, but one day I'm going to make an honest man out of you so getting you across the threshold is the first step in that direction,” Joshua says and he takes a few steps towards their new home.

“I'm not your wife,” Manuel grumbles as he finally looks up at Joshua.

“Nope, but you'll definitely be my husband one day, so I want to start doing the right thing from the very beginning,” he replies but his sarcasm can't cover the small pleased sound that Manuel makes then proceeds to kiss the hell out of him. They both smell quite ripe and they should definitely move this to somewhere more private but Joshua Faraday is at peace with the world for now. And it's thanks to the man in his arms.

“Very well then,” Manuel says once they finally break apart. “Take me home, Joshua,” he adds. There is so much love and affection in his voice that Joshua can't help kissing him again. Then he takes him across the threshold and slams the door closed with his heel, leaving the world behind them.

Joshua doesn't care about it anyway because his whole world is in his arms.

~o~

“Hey, guero,” Vasquez says as soon as he is within earshot. Faraday shudders in pleasure just listening to that beautiful beloved voice. He gets up, smiling awkwardly as they have one of those clumsy one-arm hugs that guys generally seem to enjoy having. Fuck, this is so fucking awkward!

“Hey, Vas,” he mumbles, not sure whether to sit back down or stand up. “Long time, no see, eh?”

“Yeah.” Vasquez gives him a long look, a small smile playing on his lips. He takes in Faraday's rumpled shirt, his disheveled hair, and his scruffy cheeks, all the while staring at him like Faraday is the best thing he has seen in a while. “You look good, guerito,” Vasquez says, at last, wistful and gentle, “sobriety suits you.”

Faraday must have winced at the observation because the smile disappears from Vasquez's face but before Faraday can say something petty or resentful, Emma chooses that moment to intervene.

“Detective Emma Cullen, Faraday's partner for almost two unbearable years,” she says, as a matter of fact, making Vasquez chuckle.

“Manuel Vasquez. Nice to meet you,” Vasquez says and shakes her hand. “I gather he still gives trouble and causes everyone a headache?”

“Yeah, especially when he solves a case,” Emma rolls her eyes for good measure. “I've never heard so many quotes from _Brooklyn Nine-Nine_ in my life. I don't even have to watch that show anymore.”

“So you're a detective now,” Vasquez says softly, quiet pride in every word. Faraday can't stop from squaring his shoulders a little, puffing his chest. “Congratulations, guerito! I'm glad to see you're doing so well.”

The thing with Vas? He never lies. Faraday can tell that Vasquez is genuinely happy for him, a realization that sparks such regret and melancholy in his heart, he has to distract himself quickly or he won't be able to breathe.

“What about you?” He manages to say, and the question sounds almost normal to him if it weren't for Emma's knowing look. Vasquez blushes slightly, looking down. Always humble with his achievements.

“I'm working with MedLife Design Industries now. We're trying to create better prosthetics for children while implementing some new programs where we can help children from families at risk. It keeps me busy, that's for sure.” Vasquez smiles ruefully and Faraday wants to taste the smile so bad it fucking hurts.

Emma asks Vasquez a question but for the life of him, Faraday can't concentrate. Jesus Christ, he knows this man so well. He knows the taste of him, still sharp on his tongue, his scent still strong in his nose, the feel of him imprinted on his own skin. Why are they standing here, opposite each other, as though they didn't envision a life of their own? _Together_. This sudden distance is unbearable, worse than not seeing each other for the past two years.

“I have to go,” Vasquez says, at last, swallowing a few times as if unable to find his words. Faraday grabs him with shaking hands and pulls him into a real hug this time, burying his nose in Vasquez's hair, the body so familiar in its presence.

“It's so goddamn good to see you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, mostly to himself, but Faraday thinks Vasquez hears him for he pulls him in a little closer.

“You too, cariño,” comes the whispered reply. “I'm so proud of you, Joshua. Really proud!”

The pain of those words lodges in between his ribs, a violent mess of misery and regret, but Faraday pushes on and squeezes the life out of Vasquez before letting him go. He pats Vas on the left cheek twice then they smile at each other and Vasquez returns to his friends.

“Faraday-”

“Don't, Emma! Just fucking don't!” He replies, taking in Vasquez's form one more time before he finally sits down at their table and takes the first document he can get his hands on. His eyes sting and the hand trembles so hard it's impossible to read the document. A lifetime of love, common memories and regret are on the other side of the bar and Faraday can't cope with that right now. In fact, never sounds just about right! So he does the only thing he feels capable of right now.

“Let's get back to the case,” he says squinting at the document and finally being able to read it. “Maybe we can't get the bastard that killed Billy Sanders.”

“Or bitch,” Emma replies, blessedly leaving the topic of Vasquez behind. Thankfully, she picks the photos of the crime scene and checks them again. Soon, in between coffee number seven and coffee number eight, Vasquez is forgotten. He doesn't come to say goodbye when he leaves and Faraday never acknowledges him again.

It's better this way.

If Vasquez never lies, well, let's just say Faraday excels at lying to himself. And for now, he manages to believe his own lie.

~o~

Josh is hiding in the closet. His knees are drawn to the chest, forehead resting on them in an attempt to shut out the world. It's so fucking stupid: he should get out of the goddamn closet, deal with the formalities, and sort through his mom's belongings. Basically, face the fact that she is gone and maybe get to arrange the funeral and start mourning her. But he can't, he can't, he can't. He shakes his head viciously. He _won't_.

Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!

Lydia Faraday wouldn't have won the title of the mother of the year anytime soon. Too many shitty jobs, too many shittier boyfriends, too many vices, and too many flaws. She'd been tough, rude and made sarcasm a way of living. There had never been hugs and kisses around their house. There had never been exchanged _I love you_ s and random questions about how the life was treating them, how school went and so on, like in Manu's case.

But Lydia had provided a home for him, as stable as she could, food and support even when Joshua came out to her in the ugliest way possible, spitting the truth like a goddamn slap to her face. She had not let any of her boyfriends ever lay a finger on him and she had kicked them out as soon as they had raised their voice at Josh. She had loved Manuel, probably more than had loved Josh, but that was okay because Manuel had come into their common lives like a meteor and changed it for the better. Joshua hadn't realized at that time that his mom craved for love too and basked in Manu's attention the same way as her son, albeit with a different meaning.

She hid her illness as much as she had been able to, and she refused the treatment the doctors suggested to her, not necessarily because she didn't want to live maybe a few more months, but because she couldn't bear the thought of burying her only son in debts, as he had already accrued enough of those with his stint in college.

Lydia Faraday might not have been the best mom in the world but she sure as hell was the best in Joshua's one.

Now he has nothing.

His knees are drenched in snot and tears but Joshua Faraday can't shake the feeling that he is all alone in the whole wide world. But at least here, surrounded by his mom's clothes and the stench of cigarettes, the faint scent of dust and moths and wasted opportunities, he can pretend that she is still there, just out of reach but nevertheless present.

It hurts. How people goddamn survive losing someone? Could he reach inside of himself and press against his ribs, his heart twisted and shriveled under the onslaught of pain? If he could, he'd grab that goddamn heart and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until there would be nothing left and he would be left unfeeling.

But because he can't do that, he hides in the closet.

He doesn't know how much times passes, but then the doors open and close with a soft click and a body presses next to him. Strong and loving arms wrap around him, anchoring at last. Joshua turns his whole body and buries himself inside of Manuel, shaking and crying. He grips Manu's t-shirt and fists the whole material, pressing his eyes against Manu's shoulder and lets himself be held. If it were possible, he would carve himself a place inside of Manuel and never leave, because, amid the storm, Manuel Vasquez is his harbor. Or the rock in the middle of a tumultuous ocean.

Manu presses their cheeks together and pulls Josh closer, breathing him in before a few tears mingle with his ones. Joshua wonders briefly who told him the news and how he managed to return so fast. Manuel had flown to Hermosillo – his father's native town – for a big family gathering a few days ago together with most of his family. He had been reluctant to leave, especially because he was aware that Lydia didn't feel well but Joshua couldn't stand the thought of ruining Manuel's happiness and sent him there, knowing very well that he needed his support, but hating the thought of it.

But Manuel is here now and for a moment, Joshua lets himself believe that everything is going to turn out all right after all.

When they finally get out of the closet – and that is a joke for a later day when Josh doesn't feel like his insides are scraped raw – Joshua Faraday most definitely doesn't start crying again. Because in his mom's kitchen, there's already most of his new family. Mama Yolanda already has something cooking, Papa Juan Manuel is talking with one of his friend doctors from the hospital to see about the body and how they can release it with minimal fuss, whereas Javier and his girlfriend Sarah are trying to find a good funeral home over cups of coffee and cold sandwiches. Their baggage is hiding in a small corner of the kitchen but Joshua can still see it and as soon as mama Yolanda's arms wrap around him, he starts crying all over again. Like a baby.

He wants to tell his mom that he is thankful for her support when he came out because he would have never had the courage of being with such a wonderful man like Manuel and he wouldn't have had this great family now. And though the pain doesn't lessen, as he is given a cup of coffee and more paper napkins, Joshua grabs Manu's hand and holds.

He misses his mom's presence. It feels like a permanent fist to the gut but maybe he is not alone and that is enough.

~o~

Faraday's luck runs out again on a Monday afternoon.

The downcast sky does nothing to improve his mood, but the new leads in the Sanders case do help. He smiles meanly. He'll get the son of a bitch that killed Billy Sanders and when he does that, he'll make sure the fucking asshole rots in prison. He shoves his notes in his pocket, for once eager to get back to his desk and check the data base for more information. He opens his car and throws his blazer on the back seat. He slams the back door uncaring and checks the front of his car to make sure that he has enough space to get out. He turns around ready to get inside and drive away when he stops like a moron in the middle of the pavement, gaping like a fish.

Vasquez is walking slowly across the street, chewing absently on an apple. To the strangers walking beside him, Vasquez might appear distracted, with his backpack hanging loosely on one shoulder and the apple in the other hand. He's wearing a white shirt under a green cardigan and black jeans that do wonders to his thighs. But from the slump of his shoulders and the absent air, Faraday knows that Vasquez is exhausted.

Faraday wonders bitterly who takes care of Vasquez because whoever he is, he's doing a fucking lousy job. Vasquez has never known when to stop, when it got too much for him, always driven, always ready to help. They had more than one fight related to this subject, the memory already causing Faraday a mild headache.

Faraday pinches his nose. Seriously? They don't see each other for more than two years and now everywhere he goes, he sees Vasquez. He could let him pass, he could ignore his presence and drive away. And he almost does that. He opens the driver's door and he's half-way inside the car when he swears loudly and runs his hands through his hair a few times.

For fuck's sake!

“Vas!” He shouts, already out of the car. Vasquez looks confused around him but when he spots Faraday, that old warm smile is back on his lips. He checks the traffic, before crossing the street quickly and stopping in front of Faraday.

“Hey, guerito! What are you doing around here?”

“Checking some new leads for my case,” Faraday answers as he straightens his spine a little. A wide and easy grin spreads across his lips in response to Vasquez's friendly demeanor. “You? It seemed like you were in your own world. Something bad happened?”

“Not exactly. One of our patients doesn't respond well to the prosthetic we provided and I was trying to come up with a solution but I wasn't having too much luck,” Vasquez answers and grimaces when he realizes that he still has the half-eaten apple in his other hand. He sees the garbage can a few steps back and he throws it quickly before returning back to Faraday.

“I'm sure that you will find the solution sooner or later,” Faraday says crossing his arms. “You were always the one thinking out of the box.”

“Look who's talking, Mr. Detective.” Vasquez pats Faraday's shoulder a few times before squeezing it once and letting it go. “I should have bought you a drink that night at the bar. I am really proud of you. Not that my opinion matters or anything, but I know how much you wanted to become a detective and I'm happy you succeeded. Though I didn't have any doubts.”

Faraday bites his tongue so hard he must have punctured it because he can't tell Vasquez that he worked so hard because, in some absurd way, he dreamed of this moment when he would prove himself to the one person whose opinion mattered the most. But this whole moment is satisfying for a completely different reason, namely the warm way in which Vasquez looks at him, the way he just touched him, the quiet steadiness of his pride in Faraday's achievements. There's that sudden feeling of familiarity all over again.

“Want to grab some late lunch?” Faraday blurts out, then he quickly adds a wink to the mixture to try and take the edge off of the question. “Instead of a drink, you can buy me dessert and I will even tell you all about the horrendous bad luck I head on the day of the exam.”

“Yeah, okay,” Vasquez says, checking his watch. “I have a couple of hours to spare.”

They find a friendly restaurant two blocks away and they order quickly. If Vasquez notices that Faraday orders just water to drink, he doesn't comment on it. They trade stories about what they've been up to but completely ignoring what they probably want to know the most about their lives. Faraday knows some of the stories that Vas tells him already because he still speaks with mama Yolanda once a week. Faraday didn't know how much he was defined by the Vasquez family until he could no longer be part of it – it had been surprising for him when mama Yolanda and papa Juan Manuel still wanted to speak with him, especially because apparently Vas had no objection to it, while Javier didn't want to speak with him at all.

They keep it light. Faraday tells some really outrageous stories about his cases as a detective, making Vas laugh out loud. _He's always been so beautiful_ , Faraday thinks as he fists his hands under the table in an attempt to calm down. There's always been something graceful and elegant about Vasquez's lithe body, a perfect combination of height and muscles, though it was amusing during high school to see him try and navigate his sudden height burst. Vas was clumsy and hurt himself a lot of times, knocking into things and hitting his head over and over again. But even back then, with his long clumsy limbs and his messy hair, with his coyote grin and dark eyes, he was so beautiful, it made Faraday's heart crack into thousands of pieces. He was never the same after Vasquez transferred into his high school, but he'd never been happier than when their loud friendship turned gradually into a quiet but incommensurable love.

And then he blew it.

“Do you want to get together again sometime?” Faraday asks but regrets it instantly when a flash of hurt crosses Vasquez's face before he closes off completely. “Forget about it,” he swallows past the sudden bitter taste in his mouth, “it was a stupid idea.”

“It wasn't,” Vas finally replies and scratches his beard in an attempt to delay his next words. A slight flush colors his cheeks and he bites his lip absent-mindedly.

“Yeah, it was, sweetheart,” Faraday mumbles, unable to keep out the endearment. “You don't have to lie to me.”

“It wasn't,” Vas insists, his tight-lip smile doing little to assuage Faraday's doubts. “I really like the idea, because I missed you, guerito, I really did miss you.” The words punch almost a physical blow for Faraday and he has to lean back because he suddenly feels unable to breathe. There are hurt and affection in Vasquez's eyes and goddamn it, this must be a whole new level of hell. Faraday can feel his nails leaving marks inside his palms, trying to control the emotional onslaught that his stupid fucking question brought onto them.

“But?” He manages to croak.

“But then I'd want something more from you.” Vasquez shrugs and looks away. “I'd want more of your attention, more of your affection and we both know where that leads us.” And in between one breath and the other, Vasquez gets up from the table and takes his backpack. His smile is brittle, enough to cut Faraday into thousands of little pieces. “You take care of yourself now, you hear, guerito?” He leans forward and kisses Faraday on the top of his head, a silent but damning benediction and then he's out of Faraday's life again as if he'd never been there in the first place.

He shouldn't have done this. He should have let Vasquez walk away.

But Joshua Faraday has always been a glutton for punishment.

~o~

“You were fucking ashamed of me, don't you deny it!” Joshua slams the door so hard the entire frame shakes menacingly.

“I wasn't!” Manuel looks at least half as angry as Joshua but for the first time, Josh thinks he has the righteousness on his side. “¡válgame Dios! Where the hell did you get that idea?”

“Every single time your colleagues asked me a question, you interrupted me! Every time I tried to make a joke, you stopped me and changed the subject!! Every single fucking time!” Joshua seethes.

“I didn't!”

“Yes, you fucking did!” Joshua slams the glass of water so fucking hard, it cracks in his hand. “Call Red right now and see what he says. He was right there! He can tell you what a fucking asshole you were! Or call Benjamin, I am sure he will be more than happy to draw you a diagram!”

“¡cábron!  Don't dump your fucking insecurities on me!” Manuel shouts back

“Oh, right! I'm the insecure one!” Joshua hisses as he throws the glass in the garbage can where it finally breaks just like his own heart that evening. “I'm the one that always gets jealous when other people are a little flirty with me! I'm the one that gets possessive! Give me a fucking break!”

“Don't talk to me about possessiveness, guero!” Vasquez raves. “We both know the fucking truth!”

“Maybe I am the possessive one, the insecure one,” Joshua says, tired of the fucking fight, “but remember this: I always, but _always_ , said that you're too good for me and you denied it. Tonight though? You acted like you fucking believed it too!” Manuel looks like Joshua just gutted him open, leaving his insides exposed to the cruel realities of life, but he can't find in himself to feel pity at the moment because this is how he felt throughout the whole night. “You can sleep on the couch,” he adds the final petty blow. “I wouldn't want to undermine you with my fucking baseness!”

He shuts the door of their bedroom with a loud bang then flops on the bed, burying his head under the pillows, uncaring of his street clothes. It hurts, it hurts so goddamn much, because Manu really acted like a jerk tonight. Even Red got to see this. Manuel's colleagues seemed friendly enough and although they would geek out about the oddest topics, they still managed to keep a friendly chatter for Joshua's sake and tried to include him in their conversation, but for some reason, Manu kept interrupting him. Even when they were discussing topics with which Joshua was more than familiar, Manu still wouldn't let him get a word edgewise. By the end of the evening, Joshua stood sullenly in a corner of the table unable to engage in the conversation, looking at Manuel and feeling incapable of grasping what has just happened.

He squeezes his eyes shut, furious at the tears that threaten to come to the surface. He won't fucking cry over this shit. But it hurts, it really fucking hurts to see the one person that he loves the most in this world ignoring him and treating him like he was of no importance. It doesn't feel like an exaggeration. He's flayed open.

He must have fallen asleep because he wakes up a while later, his head resting on the pillows. He's almost burrowed in Manuel, who must have covered them with a blanket because Joshua feels too hot, but he is still reluctant to move. Manuel is caressing his hair, all soft and absent-minded, one of his legs over Joshua's hips. Joshua scrunches his eyes shut tighter as the memories of tonight slam into him, their bitterness still just as powerful, in spite of their present position. This is how they've always been – Josh and Manu, Faraday and Vasquez, unable to tell where one finishes and the other begins. They were anything but that tonight.

“I just wanted them to like you,” Vasquez murmurs apologetically as he realizes that Joshua is no longer asleep. “I wanted them to see how brilliant and wonderful you are. I wanted them to be in awe of you as much as I am every day. And I screwed up.” Joshua opens his eyes and stares into Manu's liquid ones. “I was wrong, so damn wrong. All along, their opinion of you didn't matter at all, because it is _you_ who are really important to me. One word from you and I'd never speak with them again.  Tienes razón, mi vida, soy un idiota. ¡Un gran idiota! I am so sorry for making you feel like you're not good enough for me or that I think like that. I never ever thought that, Joshua. Never! I'm so sorry, amor mio!”

“So you admit that you were a jerk?” he rasps, even as he closes the little distance that was between the two of them, both breathing the same air, cupping Manu's cheeks and making him look into his eyes. “Did you call Red to check my story?”

“I didn't have to,” Manuel smiles, his gravely voice sending shivers down Joshua's spine. “I stood on the couch roughly ten minutes before I realized I was un imbécil. I am sorry, cariño. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“I forgive you. But you will definitely have to make up to me,” Joshua says with a wink before kissing the hell out of Manuel. He knows that his boyfriend won't let go anytime soon of the discussion about being good and worthy for one another and that this incident only highlighted the differences between them. Joshua knows that his issues stem from much bigger problems. But as he presses harder into Manuel's body, as he takes and takes love and affection and caresses, he forgets about his doubts, about being good enough. He lets himself be conquered by love and that's more than enough for him.

~o~

Faraday's luck runs out again around midnight on a Thursday night.

His cell rings stridently in the silence of the room and it takes him a few tries before he can find it in between the files of the Sanders murder book. He presses the heel of one hand into the right eye socket trying to relieve a headache that threatens to kill all his neurons and answers the phone.

“Detective Faraday.”

“Hello, sir. Am I speaking to Joshua Faraday?” The voice asks and Faraday rolls his eyes.

“Yes.”

“Sorry to bother you, Mr. Faraday. My name is Allison, I am calling from Brooklyn Hospital Centre in relation to Mr. Manuel Alejandro Vasquez. He was involved in a car accident.” Faraday's sharp intake of breath spurs the woman to add quickly, “He's in a stable condition, Mr. Faraday, however, we would urge you to try and come to the hospital as soon as possible.”

Faraday is distantly aware of the fact that he clasps the cell phone with enough power to crack it as he takes the address of the hospital and hangs up on the woman before he grabs the keys to his car and just slams the door of the apartment. His rapid, shallow breathing is all the louder in the car but he just can't seem to stop the torrent of dark thoughts that creep into his mind.

He completely forgot about being Manuel's emergency contact and vice versa. At the time it seemed like the best solution. Spurred by Lydia's death, both Joshua and Manuel had thought long and hard about doing the formalities. Their love was for the long haul and they both knew that Manuel's parents would not react well to a bad news related to their son. Mama Yolanda had been nearly hysterical when Javier had been admitted to the hospital with a mild concussion after slipping on ice. And in spite of Juan Manuel being one of the top neurologists in the whole state, he was traveling a lot for medical conferences and seeing extremely serious cases, therefore such a news would have caused even more problems for him. As for Joshua, well, he didn't have anyone to care about him anymore so it was imperative that he had an emergency contact. As such, they both made the formalities, not only for the sake of sparing Manuel's family but also because it allowed the other to be there.

But after the breakup, it didn't even cross Faraday's mind to change the emergency contact and it looks like Manuel didn't think about it either. It was both careless and stupid from their part. Faraday clasped so hard the steering-wheel, the knuckles turned white.

Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!

Manuel in the hospital. What the hell happened? Is he badly hurt? The lady on the phone kept on saying that he is fine but Faraday doesn't trust medical staff so much. This is so fucking stupid! So fucking stupid! He takes a deep breath through the nose, keeps it in for a few seconds and then exhales through the mouth in an attempt to calm himself down. He repeats a few times the exercise because his heart might explode in his chest and he has to be there for Manuel. He has to speak with the Vasquez family after he has more information and he has to make sure that Manuel is all right.

The trip to the hospital is a hell of its own making. Nothing hurts the most than the uncertainty. By the time he manages to find a parking space, his hands are clammy and his breath is coming in short puffs again. He runs his fingers through his hair a few times as he makes his way to the emergency entrance.

The medical staff has been expecting him. As soon as he gives his name and information about Manuel, he is taken on a different floor, where the doctor in charge of Manuel's care has a few moments to spare. Luckily for everyone involved because Faraday feels his skin too tight and ready to burst. Doctor Edwards is calm and doesn't beat around the bush. In a quiet manner, he tells Faraday that Vasquez suffered a car accident – another man fell asleep at the wheel and lost the control of his car. Luckily, he was driving at a low speed so the impact hadn't been as violent as it could have been. It slammed into the passenger side, which in turn protected Manuel from further serious injuries. Still, due to the impact, he has a mild concussion, his right ankle is sprained so he will have to wear a brace for a few weeks and he has two cracked ribs. All in all, it could have been much more serious and life-threatening. Due to the concussion, Dr. Edwards decided to keep him under observation for the next twenty-four hours.

Faraday takes in all the information and wants to ask a few questions, but at the moment his mind turns blank. All he wants right then and there is to see Manuel even if it's just for a few minutes. He knows that he has to call Manuel's parents, to give them information but when he sees Manuel in the hospital bed, all the practical thoughts fly on the window.

There's just something about hospital beds that make people look smaller, frailer. It's a shock to the system to see Manuel, who's generally a person so full of life and energy, being silent and looking weaker. Joshua's trembling hands take Manu's healthy one and hold as he sits in the uncomfortable chair. His black hair is plastered on the forehead, an ugly gash above the left eyes. His ankle is already in a brace and under the hospital gown, he can see more wires and alarms that Joshua would like to.

He takes in Manuel's prone form and then he slowly gets up again and kisses him gently on the cheek.

“I'm here, sweetheart,” he whispers in his ear, lips gently touching the ear shell. “I'm right here. You're not alone, you hear me?”

He sits back down and takes a deep breath. Whoever said that love hurts less when the object of the said love is not around is so goddamn wrong he doesn't even want to think about it anymore. Ten years of being together, ten years of laughter and crying, of doubts and pain. Ten years of making love and tasting each other, of kisses and caresses. Why did Joshua let this man go? Why didn't fight harder to be forgiven? Wasn't this love a miracle onto itself?

~o~

Joshua can barely open his eyes, the migraine makes his head like it weighs a ton, pressing hard on his brain. His nose is stuffy, his eyes sting and he can barely breathe. Manu's hands are still on his back, running up and down, up and down, the vestiges of his coughing fit disappearing, at last, leaving him exhausted. There is hot tea on the nightstand and tons of medicine, the curtains are pulled, hiding them away from the world. It feels like they are the last two people on earth, Joshua's head resting on Manu's chest. He listens and listens to his heartbeat as Manu hums a song that they both like.

“Y no me digas que me amas,” Manu whispers as he presses a silent kiss on Joshua's head, “y no me digas que me adoras, dime solo que te quedas, una vida hunto a mi.” Joshua knows the song and the lyrics. He actually was the one to make Manu learn it for him. But in the semi-darkness of the room, the lyrics hold a new meaning, deeper, sweeter.

“I'm sorry,” he mumbles into Manu's chest. He comes out grumbled as if he took a shot of gravel and broken glass. He can barely speak, he can barely breathe. He never thought that having a cold could be so damn horrible.

“I don't know why you apologize, cariño, but I assure you, you don't have to,” Vasquez murmurs and hold him a little closer.

“You're stuck with me here,” Joshua says and closes his eyes again. He doesn't mention how many times Manu had to change the sheets, helped Joshua change his sweat-drenched clothes, made chicken soup and brought orange juice because these apparently are the only two things that Josh can tolerate.

“I'm not stuck anywhere,” Manu says, his hands gently caressing his back. “Am I not your boyfriend? Aren't I supposed to take care of you? Volvería a hacer lo mismo, cariño.”

Joshua's Spanish is still rather terrible, even after seven years of being together but by now, he gets certain words and phrases and he knows the meaning of it all. He moves his head a little and kisses the place where Manu's heart is beating. He doesn't know what he has done in another life to deserve such unconditional love but he accepts it and he is grateful for it.

“I love you,” he says as clearly as he can with his voice shot to hell. There's a slight hitch in Manu's breath, a tiny hint of surprise before he replies quietly, “I love you too, querido.” Joshua knows that he doesn't say it enough. He can probably count on his fingers the times he's said those words to Manu, but his heart is filled with the certainty that his boyfriend knows the depth of his feelings and never doubts it.

In a little while, a new coughing fit will disturb the peace in the room. In a little while, Josh will swear and try to hide the tears that his painful ribcage will elicit. In a little while longer, Manu will coax him into drinking that terrible tea with tons of lemon and honey and will hold him for as long as Joshua wants.

For now, though, he kisses Manu's chest one more time and breathes laboriously. He is loved and cared for and that's enough.

~o~

“What the hell are you wearing, cariño?” Manu says, chuckling softly. The action, in turn, makes him wince in pain because having two cracked ribs would do that to a guy, but Joshua is just so goddamn happy to see him awake, he doesn't care how much Manu will laugh at him after this.

“It's a new fashion statement,” Joshua replies, squeezing Manu's hand a little harder. He's been holding it throughout the night. Only in the morning, he decided to take a quick bathroom break and phone Sam, letting him know that he would go and take some of his leave. Sam replied _Thank God_ then promptly hang up on him. But now, in the clear light of the day, Joshua realizes just how ridiculous he looks in his Hello Kitty pink sweats and that blue t-shirt with three holes in it. He is really shocked that people let him in the hospital in the first place.

“I didn't think you'd wear them anymore,” Manu says gently, looking all soft and kind, even in the harsh daylight.

“You've given them to me, why wouldn't I?” Joshua shrugs, unable to face the reality of it for now.

“What did the doctor say when he saw you?” Manu asks still highly amused.

“Well, he was actually quite professional, thank you very much.” Joshua pouts just because.

“Did you do your murder stride?”

“My murder what?”

“Your murder stride, nene. You know, when you go all business and you scowl, all righteous and all.”

“I never do that!”

“You kind of do.” Manu chuckles again, ignoring the sharp pain on his side.

“Well then, sweetheart, it must have had an effect even with my hot Hello Kitty sweats.” Joshua winks again, but Vasquez smiles softly and squeezes his hand too.

“I'm sorry,” Manu murmurs. “I completely forgot about our medical forms.”

“Don't!” Joshua replies sharp enough to cut their common past into pieces. “Don't you dare to apologize about that. To be fair,” he adds in a much gentle tone, “I didn't do it either, so there's that.”

“I'm still sorry,” Manu mumbles, looking down and away. “I wanted to offer you a clean break up and-”

“There's no such thing as a clean break up, Manu,” Joshua interrupted him, all the tension in him spilling in all its awkward glory. “Fucking hell, I know I was a bastard to you in the last couple of years of our relationship, but I assure you that you left me with all the memories and the pain and the fucking – love -,” he chokes on the word. “Just because you tried to make the transition easier, it doesn't mean it ever was.”

“Guerito,” Manu whispers, but Joshua's shaking head stops whatever he wanted to add. All these years of unanswered phone calls and texts, all these years of knowing that he did wrong and unable to repair because he has always been so goddamn late. The hurt and the distance break like a dam.

“You took everything and left me with our pictures and the apartment, cold and alone. You paid for everything and you even left me our friends. And nobody wanted to tell me where you were, Javier wasn't talking to me, mama Yolanda kept crying but kept silent as well. Jesus Christ, Manuel, all those memories, all those secrets we shared together! You left them all to me when you moved away!”

“I'm sorry, guerito,” Manu's voice cracks as well, “I'm sorry I hurt you, but it was the best thing to do at the time.”

“You never let me tell you just how much I was sorry,” Joshua hisses. He takes their intertwined hands and presses them to his forehead. “I'm so sorry, sweetheart, so sorry.” The silence of the room wraps around them like a warm blanket, as if trying to protect them from the outside world.

“It's all right, cariño,” Manuel murmurs softly after a while. He lets the silence linger between them a few more moments. There is much to talk about between them and now it's not the time. “So how bad is it?”

“You have or had a mild concussion,” Joshua answers and looks up again. “You have two cracked ribs and a sprained ankle but all in all you're doing fine.” Joshua shrugs as he continues, “I didn't call your mom yet, but I will have to do it soon otherwise you know what's going to happen.”

“Sí, I think it's for the best,” Manu nods and offers him a gentle smile again, all mellow. “But you're not leaving, right?” He asks though they are both aware that this sort of question can no longer be asked of them.

“Nope, definitely not leaving, sweetheart,” Joshua says and kisses him gently on the cheek. “I missed you too, you know?” he murmurs before he stands up, all flushed, sparks flying inside his chest. Manu stares at him, all sweet and warm. “I'm going to call mama Yolanda now. Are you ready, nene?” And the question sounds so much more.

“Sí.”

It sounds like a blessing.

~o~

Faraday comes home wishing for a shower and a beer, not necessarily in that particular order.

"Hey, I'm home," he grumbles as he takes his shoes off and throws them in the general direction of the shelf. He leaves the keys in the bowl and is just about to head to the bathroom when the sight of Manuel sitting on the couch with a bag at his feet stops him in his tracks.

"Hey, I didn't know you were going somewhere," he says while racking his brain in wonder whether Vasquez told him about his upcoming trip. Guiltily, he realizes quite quickly that he didn't pay much attention to a lot of things related to his partner lately.

"I'm leaving you," Manu's tone is strongly accented. This only happens when he is terribly emotional. Faraday stares at him incomprehensibly. But Manu's eyes are puffy and red and he looks like he was flayed open and put on display for Faraday to deal the final blow.

"What?" Is he the one to ask that? Did his mouth finally work? Faraday wouldn't have been able to say past the sudden bile at the back of his throat, a weird ringing in his ears. His world is crumbling. Fast.

"I'm leaving you," Manu says this time more determined, though his voice still just as strangled, and he puts the key on the table. The sound of it is deafening. Faraday freezes on the spot, afraid to even breathe because he thinks that might come closer to Vas, kneel and beg for forgiveness. And Faraday doesn't do begging, everyone knows that.

"Why?" He knows the answer to this question too, but for the life of him, he doesn't know why he wants to hear it from Manu.

"Because of the late nights, the drinking, the coldness, the fact that we've been complete strangers for this past couple of years, you can take your pick," Manu seethes, all powerlessness that makes him look like a caged animal who suddenly has the power to lash out at their tamer.

"Come on, that's bullshit!" Faraday lashes out quickly, ignoring the tight knot that is forming in his throat, pushing that impossible pain deeper and deeper. Can't Manu see what he is doing to him? Can't he see that he is breaking his heart?

"Really?" Manu's smirk is cold and mean. "What's the name of the company I work for?"

"What the fuck does that mean? Lloyd and Brannon Engineering, of course."

"Fucking wrong!" Manu hisses. "And you would have known that, had you not gone out with the boys and getting yourself drunk. Again."

"Is this about that dinner?" Incredulous, Faraday finally pushes himself off the doorway, flushed in self-righteous anger. "You have got to be kidding me," he snaps but pinches his nose in a failed attempt to calm down. "Are you actually talking about the night of the shooting when we almost lost Horne? When it was important that me and the guys celebrate life?"

"You know damn well that it's not about that," Manu says barely flushed in anger. "You don't speak with me, we can't even be called roommates anymore. Hell, you don't love me anymore, I don't think you even like me much. I sure as hell don't like what you've become."

"Seriously, come on, this is stupid," Faraday says, trying to gain control over the situation, moving his hands in a placating gesture. "We can sort this out."

They look at each other in silence, hurt and reproaches and pride poisoning the air between them.

"No, we can't,” Manu says at last. He grabs his bag and moves ahead. "I paid my part of the rent until the end of the year so you can have plenty of time to find something to move into. The rest of the bills are up to date, there's food in the fridge and there're some pizza leftovers." It is as if Vasquez is going on a business trip and not leaving Faraday for good after ten years.

"You're breaking my heart," Faraday manages to choke at last past that knot, past the bile and the hurt. His only sign of weakness that he will allow himself to show.

Vasquez turns and looks at him, eyes incredibly liquid, one step away from actually crying.

"Maybe, but, Josh," his voice cracks horribly at that, “not once did you contradict me when I said you don't love me anymore. Not once did you tell me to stay. Doesn't that tell you something?" His smile is terrible, all jagged and tight with hurt. "You've been breaking my heart for the past two years. Consider us even."

He turns and walks out the door. The door closes with such a definite manner that Faraday crumbles to the floor immediately. He's spent all night on that spot almost afraid to go further into the apartment for fear that it would simply confirm the awful reality that Vasquez isn't his anymore.

But later on, he finds out that Vas moved all his belongings a while ago, that he sorted their financial issues and left his money in their common account. That he moved somewhere else, perhaps in another city, and abandoned their friends as well, because he didn't want to make them choose. He found out that apart from his family, no one had any contact details for him and for once mama Yolanda denied him, crying at his begging, but for once favoring Manu and not Josh.

For the next two years, Manu's absence is like a gaping wound that never heals.

~o~

Joshua wakes up to cold sheets and soft glow spilling out through the window. It takes him a few long moments to recognize Manu's bedroom, all gentle colors, and comfortable pillows, a big bed and books sitting inconspicuously on one of the nightstands. On the other, Joshua's badge and his wallet rest innocently next to some condoms and lube, a reminder of his previous activities. Manu stands in front of the large window, dressed only in his boxers, the artificial light of the city curling lingering around his form. He rests his head on one of his forearms and looks absent-mindedly out on the window. His long body is a hard line of muscles and shadow, small bites and kisses covering most of his back, hard proof of Joshua's hunger and desire.

He gets up effortlessly and slowly wraps his arms around Manu's waist. The other man doesn't react much as Joshua presses his chin in his right shoulder, both bodies tight against each other. They don't know where one begins and the other ends, and it's the best thing that Joshua experienced in a while.

“Where did you go, sweetheart?” he murmurs a little afraid of the answer.

“Don't worry, cariño, you were there with me,” Manuel says tenderly and turns into Joshua's arms.

They stare at each other for a long time and Joshua takes in the delicious differences between them. Manuel is just a little bit taller than him, but Josh is wider in shoulders, his hands bigger, whereas Manu's wrists and fingers seem almost frail, ready to break at the slightest pressure. His hair is messy, like a bird decided to make its nest inside of it during the night, but they both still smell of their lovemaking, come and sweat imprinted in their bodies. Manu's forearms gentle linger on Joshua's shoulders, a soft curl of his lips saying that he enjoys their proximity.

It wasn't easy reaching this stage in their relationship, but something newer and stronger connects them now. Almost a year after Manu's hospitalization and it feels like forever.

“I was thinking...”

“Oh, that's never a good thing,” Manu's says and kisses him softly, swallowing Joshua's indignant noise.

“Hey, you have to admit that I had some pretty good ideas lately,” Joshua grins filthy. “I think these past few hours prove it.”

“Always so humble, guerito,” Manu mumbles and presses light kisses on his face. “So what were you thinking of?”

“I was thinking about maybe, someday in the near future,” Joshua stutters, “you'd like to move in with me, maybe find a new apartment or a house, somewhere where it's convenient for the both of us and-”

Manu kisses him hard and pressing, interrupting his rambling, swallowing his small noises of pleasure. It takes a while for them to break apart for air.

“I'd love that, cariño,” Manu murmurs lovingly. “You must know, Joshua, there's never been anyone else for me and there'll never be. Te quiero tanto , Joshua.” Joshua kisses him hard again, fingers splayed on Manu's lower back, possessive and unyielding. And for once, the words flow out freely as well, because here, in Manu's arms, there's safety and love and trust.

“And I love the hell out of you, sweetheart,” Joshua says, gazing adoringly at the man in his arms.

When he was sixteen, Joshua Faraday fell in love with Manuel Alejandro Vasquez. And in spite of the time that has passed, the hurt and the rediscovery, Joshua knows that nothing much has changed.

Fourteen years later, and he can't picture his life without the man in his arms.

At last, Joshua Faraday is at peace with the world.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story. Apologies for any mistake left. English is my second language and I didn't have anyone to beta this story. Also, my Spanish is kind of wobbly so hopefully there weren't many mistakes left.  
> **  
> Querido - Darling  
> Cariño - Darling, sweetheart  
> ¡válgame Dios! - God help me!  
> ¡cábron! - Bastard, jerk  
> Tienes razón, mi vida, soy un idiota. ¡Un gran idiota! - You are right, my love, I am an idiot. A big idiot!  
> Amor mio - My love  
> Y no me digas que me amas - And don't tell me that you love me  
> y no me digas que me adoras, dime solo que te quedas, una vida hunto a mi - And don't tell me that you adore me, tell me just that you will stay, a lifetime with me  
> Volvería a hacer lo mismo, cariño - I'd do the same again, sweetheart  
> Te quiero tanto - I love you so much  
> Un Imbecil - An idiot  
> **  
> The song that Vasquez sings is sung by Salma Hayek and it's called "Quedate Aqui". It's really lovely and it suits his pair so much.


End file.
